Toxic Positivity

I used to think someone with toxic positivity was simply someone who is annoyingly positive. Now I realize it is much more insidious. Toxic positivity allows people to believe they can change the reality of a situation by changing the narrative they tell themselves about it—which is the very definition of denial. It prevents authentic expression and empathy. It allows people to hide from anything difficult, to convince themselves they have succeeded even when they have failed, and to ignore the people they meet that do not evince the same positivity—even when the reason those people do not have have the same mindset is because they cannot, as they do not come from the same place of privilege. Saying “everything happens for a reason” is a way to convince yourself that your life and everything that happens to you has meaning. It also serves to shut down any difficult emotions that you or someone else may be feeling. And if you aren’t happy, then you only have yourself to blame. So it also ends up becoming a way to shame others.